Writing A Personal Ad …
That Gets The Attention You Deserve
One of the more common points I address with people in my coaching is about writing a personal ad that will get you the attention you deserve. From looking through these ads with clients, and sometimes purely for my own entertainment, a few things have become very clear to me.
Point number one is that men and women online date in an entirely different fashion. We may not actually be from different planets but we do have our differences.
This is especially true when it comes to writing a personal ad on an internet dating site. You probably wouldn’t be shocked to hear that men don’t actually read what you post up in your profile. Not for a little while anyway.
Firstly they look at your photo. And if they like that, then they look at your other photo’s to make sure the first one is actually realistic. If you past this test, remember that man is the hunter and at this point he’s still tracking game, then he may well start to dig a little deeper.
Your Ad Needs Instant Appeal
Even then he’s not going to read your profile, he’s going to scan it and look for words he finds interesting or, dare I say it, arouse his interest.
Let me share something with you. It’s something I’ve observed from years helping people to get results on dating sites. It may be painful for you to hear but it’s probably going to be less than shocking.
The women who put together profiles that get deluged with replies work in words like:
flirting, amorous, playful, snogging, experimental, massage, riding, sunshine, intimate, great kissers.
Now none of these are overly graphic and don’t even begin to promise adult fun on your first date or anything like that but they will get you a lot of attention. These are words that could be referred to as ‘trigger’ words. You can put them into any sentence and men are going to spot them and potentially drift of into a fantasy about you. This is a good thing.
Recently I came across a couple of personal ad samples that were none too subtle but gracefully executed. One woman talked about her self being ‘colourful, fruity and a little bit naughty just like her favourite cocktail’. For those of you that missed it the word cocktail is the real kicker in that sentence .
Another woman admitted to a love of rabbits and given the look of one of her photo’s it’s almost certain that she’s not talking about Bugs Bunny.
Concerned about ‘sexing’ up your ad?
What amazes me is the level of resistance to being a little or, in some cases, a lot more flirty. Every woman I’ve ever spoken to loves kissing, can be amorous and in the right circumstances considers herself to be experimental and playful. Why not make it a selling point?
There are two major objections I hear to this idea:
1. I don’t want to sound like a slut.
Me neither, I don’t blame you. Just be careful about the words you
use. There’s a world of difference between the word amorous and
slutty. Frankly, I’m not even certain that the word slutty is going
too far. What do you think?
2. I want quality not quantity
Yes, I agree that getting 20 amorously interested messages
next time you log into your account could be a little daunting but
it’s nothing you can’t handle. Just get good at tossing out the
rubbish. You don’t want to be eliminating options this early on.
So what if you decided to slip on your red heels, or what ever it is that allows you to vamp up a bit, as you write your profile? How would that change the way you portray yourself?
Attraction is a subconscious process and a lot more primal than you may be comfortable with. Knowing what you know now, what could you do differently?
Everything you need to write a great personal ad
There are several other very important elements to writing a dating profile that will pull the number of dates you deserve.
You’d be amazed, as I have been with other clients, how just a few simple tweaks to an existing profile can rocket the number of contacts you generate on a dating site. One client went from just a few enquiries a month, to so many in a week that her old PC was too slow to allow her to keep up so she chucked it out and got a new one!
If you’d like to get more dates from your personal ad or if you’re struggling to write your personal ad, there are 7 pages of advice within Finding Mr. Right, including:
- An exercise to guide you, step by step, through exactly how to write your successful ad
- The must Do’s & definitely Don’ts of writing personal ads
- The most critical aspect of your personal ad (or how to multiply the number of dates you get with just one change)
Not to mention another 107 pages that will help you to find your Mr. Right within 18 months.
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