Do You Want To Stay Or Go?

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable in any relationship. And you now know there are some simple strategies you can learn to deal with the reality of that. I know they may not be simple to implement but they are a long way from rocket science.

It seems to me that sometimes we know how to treat everyone except our partner with love and respect. In fact, in the middle of a huge argument, it's possible to either answer the door or the phone and be your ‘best self', so why not with your loved one? The reality is you've got stuck in a rut and it's time to get yourself out.

I really do believe that having a great relationship is about taking the time and making the effort to get with someone who is perfect for you. A couple of really powerful questions to ask yourself after the 3 month committed phase are:

If you knew that your partner wasn't going to change in any significant way over the next ten, twenty or fifty years, would you still want to be together?

If you were single, and not afraid of being on your own, would you choose to date your current partner, knowing all that you do about them?

It's been my experience that the only time people make radical shifts in terms of their personality and behaviour is around a near death experience, which I don't think you should be counting on.

That said you do have the option of getting some intelligent coaching or marital therapy. If you've got chemistry and the coach is good enough to be able to steer you around your resentment gracefully then it's possible to get your love back on track. Please feel free to get in touch; it's what I do with people just like you.

Reading articles is very different from doing. If all you do is the reading, then you're no closer to making the right decision. You must work through the exercises I've given you and use the information you learn to make your decision. Only when you have the answers in writing in front of you will your decision start to become clearer.

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So, Can You Leave?