The Reality of Relationships

The truth is relationships are never perfect. Sad but true. The media often leads us to unconsciously hold impossible standards that we think we should be achieving. The reality is somewhat different. Yet, because few of us have been fully educated in the way of relationships, it all comes as a bit of a shock when the shine begins to rub off our once perfect relationships.

I like to start from the position that all relationships are salvageable so long as both parties value the relationship highly enough and they have a solid base of compatibility. At some point in the past you and your partner were crazy about each other, totally in love and probably made each other some big promises. Well the good news is that those feelings are still inside you somewhere.

Whenever I talk to both partners I'm always amazed about the level of love that is still present if I talk to them separately. It strikes me that people rarely want to break up, they've just run out of ideas about how to get over the resentment or mistrust that has come up between them. This is a very scary and painful place for both of you.

The 14th of February is Valentine's Day, which is a day like no other for allowing some of my married clients to feel terrible about their love lives. It's a day when we are encouraged to get seriously romantic with our loved one which is painful for you when you're in no position to do so.

My client Rita said that she'd be doing well to remain civil let alone behave seductively. This was especially painful for her because less than a year ago she loved this man with every fibre of her being. Like you, she found herself in a relationship where the passion and romance seemed to have disappeared.

Every relationship you get into is going to move through three nicely predictable stages.

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The 3 Stages of Relationships