Online Dating Advice - Part 2

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Online dating advice - Safety

It seems to be one of the most written about things around online dating advice. But I think it's blown completely out of proportion.

Sure - you need to be aware of your personal safety. But how well do you know anyone you meet in a bar? Or a club?

The one golden rule is, if you do agree to meet someone that you've met online, always meet them in a public place with other people around. If you break that rule you really only have yourself to blame.

Also, use your own common sense. If you meet with someone and you don't quite feel right about them, don't agree to go off together afterwards. If they're truly interested in you, they'll be happy to talk on the phone and meet up again in public.

Of course I take personal safety very seriously. I just don't want you to blow it out of proportion and have that fear prevent you from going online dating.

Ultimately it's you who takes responsibility for what happens to you on a date - so you're the best judge of what to do and what not to do when online dating.

What do you say when you get chatting online?

When potential partners start contact you, or you start e-mailing them online, a common question my clients ask me is, 'What do I write?'

Well there are two things to bear in mind here.

Firstly, be yourself. If you write what you want to write and they don't respond, then you're not compatible. At no point in a relationship does it make sense to pretend being anyone else than yourself. So don't worry about what to say. Just be yourself and you've a much better chance of finding someone who really suits you.

Secondly, you're writing to share information about you as a person and also to find out about your potential partner. On the basis of that you'll be able to work out whether there's any point in meeting up for a date.

I write lots elsewhere about compatibility and it's importance in finding your Mr. Right, so there's plenty of material around this. But using those guidelines you need to start working out whether this person is going to match with your needs.

To be honest, at the writing stage, you'll find it difficult to judge. It's only when you meet for the first time that you'll really begin to know if there's chemistry.

However you can discover if they share the same sense of humour in writing. Or if you're both vegetarian. Smokers? Party animals or poetry addicts.

So open up and share about the real you and seek information about them. Just don't grill them! It's not supposed to be an interview process, so keep it light.

How to move it from online to offline

ASK!

If you've both been writing backwards and forwards consistently it's a very good sign that you're both interested in getting to know each other better.

So in your next e-mail, just ask.

You could say something like:

"I'm going to be in <WHERE THEY LIVE/WORK> on Monday. Do you fancy meeting up for a coffee at lunchtime? I've only got a few minutes before a meeting, but it would be great to finally get to meet you"

If you have any more online dating advice questions, that aren't answered on the site, often they can easily be resolved with just one 30 minute coaching session.

Back to Online dating advice - Part 1
Writing a personal ad
Which dating sites to go for?
More internet dating tips