What Are You Grateful For?
Thursday, December 20th, 2007I work with people on shaping their perfect life. A big chunk of that work is on getting them the relationship they’ve always dreamed of, whether that’s singles looking for love or people in couples looking to relight their fire. I find that it’s very easy for my clients to get stuck in feeling either sad or angry about how life isn’t all they dreamed it would be and end up feeling impoverished by their experience. This is terrible for a couple of reasons. Not least is the fact they get to feel sad or angry!
As we come toward the end of the year I’m aware of how miraculous I’m experiencing life as being. Both through the things I’ve experienced as shifting in and around my own life and in the lives of my clients. As we’re coming up on Christmas I thought I’d share some ideas with you about how you too might experience life as miraculous.
You may or may not have noticed that I am a bit of a perfectionist. In the past few years it’s become clear to me just how much harder it makes life than it needs to be, both for me and those around me. I’m clear that my perfectionism has its roots in my sometimes less than healthy self esteem and I’m dealing with it day by day. However, there are some great things about my perfectionism and the one that leaps to mind is that I’ve spent years feeling disappointed and frustrated by life. And yes, you’d be right to wonder about how on earth I view those things being great.
About 20 years ago I came across a great man who pretty much set me free from a lot of the pain I was in. His name was Charlie Kreiner. He travelled the world teaching people about what he referred to as the ‘inherent reality of life’. Meeting him was the first indication I got that life could be so much more than the endurance test it appeared to be back then. The biggest lesson he taught me was that I needed to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. All these years later, having pretty much immersed myself in the world of self development, I still think that’s pretty much lesson number one on the path to unlimited wealth and happiness.
Gratitude exists as a thread that runs through all the major traditions and teachings I’ve ever come across. You’d do well to trust me on this, my perfectionism has driven me hard in terms of creating the best life it’s possible to have. Every book I ever picked up with a title like ‘Creating Massive Wealth’ will tell you that you need to begin from a position of feeling wealthy. Thomas Leonard, the man who created the life coaching profession was very big on the idea of gratitude and refined the idea for me. Thomas was the first person to introduce me to the idea of ‘Attraction’ and it’s something you need to know about.
Very simply put, we attract into our lives whatever we chose to focus on. If you want to explore this in more depth (and avoid reading 20 years worth of often fairly badly written self development texts) the meta-physics of this whole concept is covered in films like ‘What The Bleep Do We Know’ and ‘The Secret’. One of my favourite ideas is that ‘thoughts become things’. So what you focus on becomes your reality. Which explains how one of my current clients (and many of my past ones) can come to me, telling me that she just can’t attract a man no matter how hard she tries - funnily enough she’s right. With that mind set she really can’t. The same is true of all those people fretting about how they can’t afford to pay their bills. I’ve found over time that what you focus on is what you feel and if you feel it for long enough you’ll make it real. How scary is that? I once read a book called ‘You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Single Negative Thought’ which I thought then was a bit strong, but now I’m almost on the same page.
So in terms of having a much healthier foundation in their lives I have clients begin to focus on what they are already grateful for in their lives. If this is done properly you’ll begin to notice that you are already wealthy in so many ways and begin to act on that basis. This makes you a thousand times more ‘attractive’ than those people who, through no fault of their own, are still stuck in how disappointed or frustrated they are with their lives.
As we’re coming to the end of the year I thought I’d write up the beginnings of the business aspect of my Gratitude List for the year. (After reading this article I’d love you to do the same. Even if it’s just grabbing a bit of paper, or typing it into your computer, take a few minutes to reflect on what you’re grateful for.)
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1. I’m grateful that my business partner Mike and his wife now have a baby. This happened on Monday the 17th of December and I’m glad the birth was totally uncomplicated and everyone is well. There should actually be a fanfare of trumpets accompanying this announcement as it’s such a monumental event. Congratulations Mike, I know you’re grateful and rich beyond measure.
2. I’m grateful that once again our business has grown; our newsletter list of subscribers continues to grow as does our list of client enquiries.
3. The divorce rate came down again so I know we’re having an impact and my work is valuable 
4. I’m working with more couples than ever before and my training with Terry Real in the States is paying off, even with the huge investment in time and energy it requires.
5. I stand poised on the edge of getting the kick a*s company car of my dreams.
6. I work the hours I love, doing what I love with people I love. That’s actually my definition of business success and it’s fantastic.
7. I have a network of experts around me that can pretty much answer any question I have on any topic. This has taken many years to achieve and makes a huge difference to how I feel about my work.
8. My file full of testimonials continues to grow and I’ve saved at least one life this year and eased the suffering of many souls. I get to go to bed knowing I’ve made a difference and for that I’m truly grateful.
This is really just the beginnings of my list and doesn’t even touch upon all the things that are just so amazing about my personal life. So what would your list look like?
I promise you that if you begin to build the habit of being grateful for what you’re getting from life you’re going to enjoy it a whole lot more. Not only that but because you’re enjoying it a whole lot more you’ll begin to attract much more of that enjoyment and excitement into your life. It’s just the way the world works.
It’s my belief that life is pretty much perfect but I recognise it can be a challenge to notice how great some moments are. But more often than not, if you just stop, and take a look around, you’ll find that there is something right there, that is perfect. This could well be a perfect moment and if you keep stringing those perfect moments together then eventually you get a perfect life.
I got this on one of those email circulars years ago and like to keep it close so I can maintain a healthy perspective about just how wealthy I really am.
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‘If you woke up this morning with more health than illness…you
are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of
starvation …you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death…you are more blessed than three billion
people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof
overhead and a place to sleep…you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace … you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.’
I’m grateful that you are receiving and reading this article and hope it’s adds at least a little to your life. I wish you a spectacular whatever it is you choose to celebrate this time of year and a truly magnificent year ahead.
Best wishes,
Michael
2 Responses to “What Are You Grateful For?”
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December 20th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’m so thankful to you for this article about being grateful, and especially at this time of year when after all the busy rush to get everything ready for christmas and trying to remember that nothing has been forgotten, it’s just the perfect time in the period between christmas and new year to relax, light a candle, spend some solitary time and reflect on the good things that I’m grateful for, to remind myself to be positive, and to bring to mind the things I want to make happen in the new year to come. In enjoy all your ezines, but this one is timely! Thankyou.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
I just wanted to say that yours is one of the few newsletters I receive that I actually read. I stumbled upon your site (and a host of others) when my husband left, and I have found that all of those other sites perpetuate my wallowing in my own misery. Yours doesn’t! When I read your newsletter, I feel empowered, self-respected, and happy. I remember your tips and philosophies and apply them as much as I can, and you’re right — the cycle perpetuates itself. Positive action brings more positive action brings more positive action. So thank you, and a very happy holiday and a happy new year to you as well!