Remember What Your Parents Told You!
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007I’ve recently been coaching a guy, we’ll call him John, who’s in a new relationship with someone he’s absolutely thrilled with. She measures up to the most important pieces on his perfect partner pages in a way he could never have dreamed of and yet he was not happy. She has a tendency to show up late to pretty much every date they arrange and will often let him down at the last minute.
John, is very successful in business and I’ve worked with him before on what Dan Sullivan, The Strategic Coach, refers to as the four keys to referability. The fours keys are very simple, and if you use them in your business life I guarantee you better business relationships resulting in a happier and more profitable life. People will be so thrilled with you they’ll be raving about you to their networks. We can also use these strategies for much better results in our romantic relationships:
1. Show up on time.
2. Do what you say.
3. Finish what you start.
4. Say please and thank you.
Your happiness is directly related to the quality of your relationships, every single piece of success or good luck is tied into a relationship you’ve made at some point. So if a man who makes millions says that the above are the four biggest keys to your success I’m willing to trust him.
Each of the above habits communicates respect and a sense of valuing the other person. It’s clear to me given John’s recent experience that it doesn’t matter how good looking, witty or intelligent you are. If you lack the basic skills that communicate respect for your partner, friends or business colleagues, people are going to keep you at arms length. This is bad for business and disastrous for your romantic relationships.
We all need to remember that when we’re dealing with people we are dealing with two aspects of the brain, the conscious and the subconscious. The one running the show, much to most people’s horror, is the subconscious which is primarily concerned with our survival and the survival of our genes. The four habits listed above make people feel safer and that is a very good thing. The whole treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen doesn’t actually work, it’s much better to treat people very well.
I had John talk about the four keys with his new partner, she realised she was making her life harder than it needed to be. She was also shocked when she thought about all the ways her behaviour had impacted past relationships both personally and professionally.
So remember, some of the stuff your parents said you should do was good information. Have fun with this, remember to sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table.
Best wishes
Michael
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