Supposing I said that it’s possible to figure out exactly how attractive you are to the opposite sex and that it would take you less than two minutes to do so. What if I said I could then point you in exactly the right direction to make yourself more attractive. What if I was willing to do that for free. Would that be of any interest to you?

Have you ever overheard 2 guys having a conversation and rating a woman? ‘She’s a 6 mate. Nah, you’re blind. She’s definitely an 8!’ Now a lot of women find this phenomenon really offensive. In fact the phrase ‘sexist objectification of women’ springs to mind from somewhere in my past. However, over the years of asking people what they’re looking for in their perfect partner it’s become clear that there are some things it would be stupid to overlook. And there is something of use to you within this concept of rating or ‘market value’.

The thing you need to understand to make this concept work for you is that there is a big difference between ‘Attraction Factors’ and ‘Matching Factors’. Let me explain.

There are some things that you can change about yourself that will generally enhance your attractiveness. These we call ‘Attraction Factors’. They include how you look, how good at flirting you are, how high your self esteem is, etc. These are the factors you can use to work out your ‘market value’ (as Leil Lowndes termed it in her book ‘How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You’). How attractive someone finds you is not a choice they make, either you’re attractive to them or you’re not!

The most obvious attraction factor is image. You can alter how attractive you are perceived to be with the clothes you wear, the makeup you put on and the body language you use when you interact with a potential date. If you then go on to learn more about what colours and clothing shapes suit you, or the 7 key flirting signals, then I guarantee you will attract more dates.

The 2nd category of factors is unique to you. They neither raise nor lower the number of people you’ll attract in the general population. These are called ‘Matching Factors’ and are fundamental parts of your personality. You don’t want to mess with these things too much as you’ll start to confuse yourself and the people around you.

‘Matching’ factors are things like your life experiences, your beliefs, your values and your sense of humour. Yes, you can change all of those things but that won’t necessarily raise your level of attraction. You’ll only attract a different type of person who may not even fit with your general makeup.

An easy way to think about this is around politics. Let’s say you’re an avid Labour supporter and, just for your amusement, you decide to become Conservative because you find the men better looking. Whilst now you’re able to attract a Tory you’ve just lost all your Labour lovers.

The bottom line? You can raise your market value by working on your attraction factors. You can attract more of the right type of men or women. It’s just a case of understanding and getting comfortable with the fact that you’re only playing around with those external attraction factors. Not your core matching factors.

If you’d like to work out your market value and the quickest way to improve it by at least 10% then take a look at the attached quiz.

There are a couple of things to bear in mind. The scoring of the wheel is subjective; don’t let that be an issue for you. Why? Because the scores you’ll give yourself are partly a result of your self esteem. If you have low self esteem, you’ll tend to score yourself low and vice versa. Given that self esteem is a primary determinant of attraction, if you’re honest with yourself, your scores will be an accurate representation of your market value. Which leads to the second point – be honest with your scores. It’s tempting to ‘big up’ your scores, but there’s no point scoring a 9 and then wondering why you’re still not attracting many partners.

I use this quiz to great effect with my clients. It can also help you understand whether you need to make changes to your attraction factors to get with your perfect partner. Given you have some idea of who your perfect partner may be, what would you score him (or her) out of 100 on this quiz? If their score is 20% or more apart from your own then you have some work to be done as the balance of power will probably be off in the relationship. Outside of sexual fantasy all the experts agree that equality is essential in a long term relationship.

Tags: attract, attract the opposite sex, attraction, attraction factors, attractive, date, dating, Flirting, How To Attract More Dates, love, market value, matching, partner, perfect partner, raise power attraction, relationship, self esteem, value