Love Relationships And The Holy Grail!
Monday, May 15th, 2006Love relationships - relationships love. What a pair!
If you’re single you’re searching for it. If you’re together with someone you’re wondering whether this is really it. When you’ve been together for a long time sometimes you might wonder if you’ve lost it.
Wouldn’t it all be so much easier if love was easily identifiable?! Something binary - that you either had or you didn’t. That you could look in your handbag or your wallet and say, ‘Yup, It’s there.’
Fortunately, it’s not! Why - it wouldn’t be anywhere so tantalising and fantastic if it was so predictable.
But enough rambling - back to those key questions.
Where do you find love?
Are you in love?
How do you know if it’s true love?
Where do you find love?
There are 2 theories on this.
The ‘let it happen naturally’ brigade, and
The ‘make it happen’ camp.
If you’re young and not worried about time, you can quite happily stay with the ‘let it happen naturally’ brigade. But honestly, I would recommend getting clear on who you want for a partner. It’s absolutely key and you’ll find out why a little later on.
If you’re getting older and are beginning to get concerned about not having found lasting love yet then you may be considering option 2 a bit more.
So let me tell you about the 3 key components to finding love.
1. Identifying and being clear on who you’ll fall naturally, deeply and forever in love with
2. Ensuring you’re able to attract the person you’ve just identified
3. Going out there and finding him or her
Simple. Or is it?
Well, the steps are simple, but few know about them and even fewer practice them. Primarily because our social conditioning leads us to believe that we should all be in the ‘let it happen naturally’ brigade.
That’s how our parents met. That’s how it happens in films. That’s how it happened in the fairy stories.
We just skip straight to step 3 and let it happen.
And how’s that method working out for society then? A 52% divorce rate. You know that statistic already, but honestly - that’s horrendous!
If you ran a business and more than 50% of what you made was reject quality, useless, chuck it in the bin stuff - would you be happy? How long do you think you’d be in business for?
So may I gently suggest that you hot foot it from the ‘let it happen’ brigade into the ‘make it happen’ camp? You may be moving away from the crowd of sheep who are prepared to let it happen naturally and divorce 4 years down the line, but by now I think you can clearly see it’s the only sensible route to take if you want a long lasting, true love.
Are you in love?
The biggest question of all in relationships. So this should be easy to answer then!
How many times have I been asked, ‘Are they the one for me?’ In fact, it’s such a common question, you’ve probably been asked it by your friends about their partners and you’ve almost certainly asked it yourself about your current or past relationships.
But how do you know? How can you tell if the partner you’re with right now is the right one for you?
No - I won’t give you the standard answer, ‘You’ll just know’.
Aaaaargh. If you knew, you wouldn’t be asking the question!
So how do you know? Well, unfortunately, there is some truth in the standard answer. If you’re spending a lot of time asking, ‘Am I in love with this person?’ Or, ‘Are they the one for me?’ It’s clear you have some doubt about it.
However the main way to know whether this love is the one for you is based on compatibility. Not very romantic I know. But that’s what true love is underneath.
You’re best friends with the person. You share similar likes and dislikes. Your partner has personality traits you admire deeply. You ‘complete’ them. In total, you fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw.
All you need to know is what shape is your jigsaw piece and what shape does your partner need to be (if you’ll excuse the stretching of the metaphor).
Does this sound familiar? Yes? That’s because it’s step 1 from above. Identify your ideal partner - someone who’s just right for you.
Doing this is so much easier when you’re not with a partner. There’s no interference or bias that creeps in because of the characteristics of your current partner. But it’s still possible to work out who your ideal partner is when you’re with someone, and then see if they measure up. It just takes a large pile of honesty mixed with great dollops of reality.
The bottom line? If you’re not sure you’re in love, it’s probably the first indicator that you aren’t. If you want to know for sure whether this person is ‘The One’, work out who your perfect partner is.
How do you know if it’s true love?
(See previous answer)
Yes, honestly. It’s the same answer. TRUE love, is having that compatibility.
The people that do find their partner without working out who they need specifically and then get through life without divorcing are merely doing the process intuitively. In their heads. They find a partner, know they are compatible and commit to a long term relationship.
Unfortunately a lot less than 50% of our population are able to do that intuitively. I say a lot less, because not everyone who stays together is in relationship bliss.
So there you have it. Love relationships and the Holy Grail - the path to true love.
I may not have answered your question right now, but at least you now know how you can get that answer in the next few days.
Michael
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