How A Single Woman Went From 5 Dates In A Year, To 100
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006I want to tell you about Rosemary Mitchell.
In the 11 months before she came to work with me she’d been out with 5 men. 2 dates came to nothing, 2 led to a few weeks of seeing each other before they ended. 1 turned into a 5-month relationship.
“I suppose that could describe a lot of years in my dating life! The problem is, it just keeps happening - every year. I’m truly fed up. It has to change” she said.
As I finished working with her, she was on track to get over 100 dates within a year.
Let me tell you how.
Rosemary came to me after discovering our site on Google. She was pretty, fun and sociable ‘ if you met her you’d really wonder why it wasn’t happening for her. A few minutes into our first coaching session it became clear.
I told her, what she secretly already knew, she just wasn’t dating enough. If she wasn’t beating potential suitors back with a stick then she was selling herself short.
‘You need to be getting 2 or 3 dates a week.’ She choked a few expletives back. Holding down a 9-8pm marketing exec. job, there was no way she was going to fit that number of dates in. Once I’d explained the reasons why she needed to up her date rate, she became a little more open to the idea.
Too many people, and I believe this is more true of men, get into a relationship on the basis of scarcity, being practically grateful that they’ve found ’someone with a pulse’ that actually seems to like him or her. Given the 52% chance of a very messy, painful, not to mention expensive divorce it shocks me that people aren’t willing to work a whole lot harder on the initial mate selection stage.
Rosemary wasn’t alone. People come to me all the time to find someone to love and they’re not even dating regularly. How is that ever going to work? Why is it that so many of us appear to be competing for the world’s best-kept secret award?
The way we’ve been conditioned to do it in the UK is to sift through a few ‘clearly un-suitables’, then go out with one special person for a while, get all excited and either get married or break up. More often than not breaking up is the popular option. It takes about three months to three years to figure out if you really like someone, often a couple of months to exit and then another six before you feel like doing it again.
Rosemary, at the time entering her thirties, decided she didn’t have the luxury of wasting so much time any more.
She left our coaching with a radically different dating strategy.
As a result she started to attract a lot more attention. Within one week of applying her new dating strategy she had 15 men with the hots for her and wanting to go on a date! And when she had decided which ones she wanted to date, it was with the knowledge and skills to identify quickly which ones were worth taking past a second date.
Previously Rosemary spent 11 months to find out that 5 guys were not the one. Now she’s meeting with 2 or 3 a week. In a year, that means she’ll be able to meet well over 100 guys.
Upping Your Date Rate
How many dates you’ve been on in the last year? Think about it now before you read on. Is it 3, 5, 10?
How does that compare that with Rosemary’s target of over 100?
What Must You Change?
- What’s one of the main things holding you back from dating two or three times a week at the moment?’
- If you were committed to finding your partner what could you do right now to change that?
- What skills, knowledge or assistance do you need in order to make that change?
If you want to copy the exact strategy that Rosemary used to go from 5 to 100 dates in 1 year, you can read about it in Finding Mr. Right.
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