The Narcissistic Hoover Manoeuvre - Part Two

So What Should You Do?

You lay in bed trying to figure out what to do. This new girl is great but you LOVED your ex. She has finally realised what she lost and is ready to be with you forever. Your delusion will tell you that all your dreams have suddenly come true. This is extremely scary and in truth you should be terrified. You stand on the edge of making a colossal mistake. If you are really lucky she won’t call you back in the morning but in case she does know this;

Everything that you will read about this subject says to run away. Every author of every book and website agree….DO NOT RECYCLE THIS RELATIONSHIP! Step away from the edge! Stand down soldier! Leave that narcissist alone!

Dangers of Co-Dependent Relationships

I have a pretty good idea of what your ex has said because all narcissists read from the same script. I know what dreams are going through your head because I know you’re co-dependent and you’re pretty predictable too ;-). You’re considering letting your narcissist back in to your life! Are we still arguing about the co-dependent diagnosis? Do you think a sane person would even consider opening the door to a crazy person carrying an axe?

If you restart this relationship you will go through the entire narcissistic cycle all over again. Only this time the stages will happen faster, this is the nature of a co-dependent love cycle. It always accelerates. If you dated for a year the first time expect the second time around to last about 4 months. 

The Narcissistic Hoover Manoeuvre

Lots more has been written about the hoover manoeuvre that you can also read about, but the one thing you need to understand is this. Look at any website, read any book; talk to anyone who has gone down this path and come out the other end….the result is always the same. A 100% failure rate. There are no success stories. NONE. Not one story where the recycled relationship turned into a blissful relationship paradise. 

The end result is always that you WILL feel worse after it is over! It’s as if the scab over your heart was ripped completely off. If you think it was rough the first time around imagine the second time? Others have tried this out so you don’t have to. People have died carrying out this experiment for you. Trust me, don’t do it to your tender little self.

This is just one half of the coin. You had a role in this too and it is important for you to know what your own internal mechanisms are what allowed you to get enmeshed with such a person. As I’ve said earlier in this section on Narcissism - it’s highly likely you’re co-dependent, have weak boundaries and no real self esteem. Don’t worry, neither did I and I’m on your team. This is totally fixable and it’s a hole I can get you out of. 

Would you like to know if someone with a narcissistic personality disorder can change?

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If you find yourself in this situation or looking for positive ways to save your relationship we offer Emergency Help and Coaching - watch the video to find out how counselling or coaching can help you.


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