Are you in Love or Lust?

It's so difficult to tell. So what do you need to know to ensure you've got it right?

Lust

You know how it feels. You probably don't care why it feels that way. You're just loving it. But you do care about not falling for your partner purely because you lust after them.

Lust is integral with the first part of any sound intimate relationship - it's the infatuation (or romance) stage. But maybe you're now questioning, 'Am I really in love with them, or is it just lust?'

The problem you face, if you're asking this question from within that first part of a relationship, is - it's almost impossible to work out the answer once you're in it!

Ideally, you'd have worked out well before you start dating anyone who you need to get with in order to be truly compatible. If you haven't done that then I suggest you need to do it now.

Why is this important?

Because the difference between a relationship that turns into love and one that ends at lust is compatibility.

Lust is all centred around your 'sexual compatibility'. If your partner's face and physique fits your map of what's gorgeous, if they talk, move and communicate in a way that pushes your buttons, then you have lust. And I know how fantastic that feels!

However, if you lack the compatibility on other levels, then when the chemicals start to fade from your body, the lust will disappear and you'll be left with someone who you probably don't even fancy any more and certainly don't love.

Of course, it's possible to fall in love with someone and not be fully compatible - but that's another issue! What I'm really saying is that a relationship that's about lust is almost wholly based around the element of 'sexual compatibility'. And that's not enough for a truly loving relationship.

So what are your options at this point in time?

1. Wait till the lust dies down and see what's left
2. Work out if you're compatible with your current partner