Long Distance Relationship

Does a long distance relationship make sense for you?

Will you get it to work?

Or are you just wasting your time and causing yourself unnecessary heartache?

Here are some tips and advice on long distance relationships.

Breaking key rule number 3

There are 3 keys to a fantastic relationship.

Key number 3 is 'the business' of relationships. That means things like ensuring you both keep roughly similar working/social hours, that you both agree on whether you want kids or not and, yes, you've guessed it, how far apart you live.

Obviously the further apart you live the more difficult it's likely to get to see each other on a regular basis. And that means having an intimate relationship will be very challenging.

Never say never

The good news? There are always exceptions. If the two of you have the first 2 keys to a fantastic relationship (chemistry & best friends) then it is always possible that you can override the physical distance between the two of you.

The bad news? These cases are rare! If you're already in lust with a partner then I know you don't want to hear that. You may even have dismissed what I've said out of hand. And I'm sure there's little I can do to dissuade you otherwise. You're probably just looking for advice on how to build a long distance relationship. But please just store this advice in your mind over the next few days and give it some consideration.

Romance or Love?

The biggest issue is that normally couples who live a distance apart have normally only had a brief period to get to know each other. If you've lived with your partner for 3 years and it was wonderful then and you've suddenly had to deal with a forced long distance separation then you're in a different boat altogether. However, if you met your partner and only had a few weeks or months together at best then you're very likely still to be in the romantic phase of your relationship.

I won't go into the detailed differences between love and romance here, suffice to say that when in the romance (early) phases of a relationship it's very difficult to establish whether you have a potential long term loving relationship together. It certainly feels like you do - everything is truly special and you feel deeply in love with each other - but whether you have the actual compatibility to create a long term relationship together is difficult to establish.

So you still want to continue your long distance relationship?

If, despite all of the above, you decide a long distance relationship is right for the two of you, here's some additional advice.

1. Agree when to get together. The biggest thing missing in your relationship is obviously lack of physical contact. So your first priority is to make sure you agree to get together on a regular basis. You'll both have ideas about how long apart is unacceptable, so share your standards with each other and don't let it run longer than you agree.

2. Grow the 'best friends' part of your relationship. Yes, technology is fab. But there's still little that can beat the phone for connecting with someone (short of seeing them.) Phone as regularly as you feel you need to. And let them do the same. E-mail, instant messaging, texts and letters make a nice addition to your phone communication.

3. Create memorable moments. Whenever you get together make sure you've planned at least one or two things to do together that will make this particularly fun and memorable. Those memorable moments will add to the intimacy of your future relationship. And even when you're apart, plan to create some memorable moments by phone, by letter, by e-mail, etc. You can do that by creating a really fun experience for your partner on the phone. There are lots of options for doing this - phone sex, reminiscing together about past memorable moments, asking them to fantasise about what would make a future meeting together fantastic - all ways of creating pleasure in the mind of your partner.

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Long distance relationship tips

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