Fear of Flirting?

Are your fears preventing you from flirting?

Do you know a bit of the theory but fail to put it into practice?

Are you meeting a lot fewer people than you'd like to?

One of the most essential challenges you must master as a single person is how to approach strangers. It’s the biggest challenge most singles face.

There are only a small percentage of people able to comfortably introduce themselves.

It’s no secret that these people are having more fun and success when it comes to developing great relationships. So what’s the difference between them and you? And why is it that the more attractive the person, the less likely you are to take action?

5 Reasons

Here are just some of the reasons that are probably stopping you flirting and winning the opportunity to introduce yourself. Do any of them sound familiar?


You are afraid
The basis for all the holding back and excuses you make for not approaching people is the fear of being rejected. Fear of making a fool of yourself. Fear of not knowing what to say or stumbling your way through an awkward conversation. Fear of losing someone potentially fantastic and gorgeous. Fear of not being good enough for the other person.

The little voice in your head!
You spot your potential partner, your body has an almost instantaneous reaction of attraction and then that little voice starts inside. ‘She’s/he’s way out of my league. They’ve probably already got a boy/girlfriend. She’d/He’d never be interested in me. What if I went across and she/he just laughed at me?

You know the kind of things you say to your self. How on earth will you ever get yourself across the room listening to that rubbish?

You take rejection personally
If you do go across there and introduce yourself you assume the chances of rejection are pretty high. But worse than that, it’s a reflection on you as a person. How you look, how you talk, what you say. If you don’t understand the reality then being rejected feels like someone passing judgment on you and saying, you’re not good enough for me.

You have no idea what a good chat up line might be?
“Hello. My name’s Gary. Do you come here often?” Well you’re probably not that bad, but you just don’t know what to say. It’s so obvious that you’re making an awkward approach that they’re going to see straight through whatever you say. It’s just too embarrassing.

You could be making them much too important!
Oh yes. They are definitely great looking. They really could be very special. In fact ruining it now could blow your chances with the person that’s supposed to be your partner for life! Leaving you to live out a life of lonely misery watching Bridget Jones, reading trashy novels and eating your dinner from tins.


So are some of those reasons familiar? OK, so they may be exaggerated. But, on the other hand, I used to be an expert on the wrong side of this and I said most of those things to myself at some point. I’ll bet you have too.

A Few Flirting Tips

So what can you do? Let me give you a few tips.

Play out your worst fears with your friends
Practice with your friends. Have fun being as playfully cruel to each other as possible as you act out trying to approach each other in a bar. Practice all your worst-case scenarios up front so if it happens in the real world it will probably just be funny.

Keep it in perspective
Before you march across the room, I’d like you to consider a couple of factors. Firstly, the person you’re about to approach may well have the worst case of bad breath you’ve experienced, they may have a laugh that sounds like a braying donkey, they may be married, they could be a drug addict, or heaven forbid they might even be boring. It’s highly unlikely that they are as perfect as you hope.

Do not respect your shyness
Develop the ability to say ‘yes’ to the most ridiculous and scary offers (non-life threatening!) life has to offer you, to the point where it becomes a little shocking for most of your friends. Deliberately seek out situations that make you shy or embarrassed so you can begin to master those feelings. If you respect shyness it will always win and will seriously limit your life.

Change the voice in your head
It’s possible to shut that voice off and you need to know how. That little voice inside is directly connected to your own feelings of self-esteem. If you are constantly having those sorts of negative conversations, you’ll NEVER get yourself to make the approaches you need to find the partner of your dreams. Even if you did, you’d be so busy gritting your teeth, trying to make a good impression that you’re going to come across badly and earn yourself another rejection. I know how painful that can be and I’d like to show you how to make sure it never happens again.

Those tips are just a taster of what you need to know if you want to be able to approach and talk to the people you are attracted to.

What else must you do?

Put them into action.

Just reading them isn't going to work. If you want to be able to talk to anyone and enjoy it, if you want to rid yourself of those fears and talk to anyone you’re attracted to then you must take action.