How To Respond To Someone Else's Opening Question

You're not always going to kick off the conversations, so how do you ensure you create a conversation out of what your partner asks you?

If they ask you a closed question, one to which the answer is 'yes' or 'no' then you have a choice. You can just give them the straight yes or no answer. Or you can answer it with an extended response.

Given that you are after a 2 way conversation here you should always be looking to give an extended response. Not one that will fill the remaining 3 minutes! But one that gives your partner at least one, maybe two things to continue the conversation with. You're looking to drop in a topic or a hint or something of interest that they can pick up on and move the conversation on to the next step.

A good conversation is a bit like a game of tennis. When the ball comes over the net to you, you have a responsibility to hit the ball back in a way your partner can return. If you don't then it's like you're both playing tennis on your own. Imagine how quickly you'd get bored hitting the ball and then repeatedly going round the net to have to pick it up again. Don't let this happen in your conversations.

If someone asks you a question, at least give them an answer they can work with. Otherwise they'll end up feeling like they're having a conversation with Lou from Little Britain. 'Yeah I know'
;-)

So let's say you get asked,

'Do you like this speed dating lark then?'

You might reply,

'Yes. You know what though, at first I was really nervous about coming along. Sometimes I'm not great at talking with people I don't know well. To be honest, I found it easier the first time I went sky diving! How about you? How do you find it?'

If your partner knows how to hold a conversation, they'll probably pick you up on the sky diving thing.

Sometimes you may well be doing all the right things; you're asking lots of open questions and responding with plenty of clues that your partner could pick up on. Unfortunately, they reply with short answers taking no responsibility for their side of the conversation.

You can only be responsible for your half of the conversation. And let's face it, not everyone is a great conversationalist.

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5 principles of an interesting dating conversation
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