Create Great Dating Conversation
Dating conversation is critical to winning first dates or turning dates into relationships. Let me tell you why…
Why is dating conversation important?
When is your dating conversation most critical?
On a speed date.
You’ve got 3 minutes to get a match. And there are only 3 things that will determine whether you get a match or not.
- Your appearance
- Your body language
- Your conversation
There’s nothing left to judge. No other basis upon which your potential date will make that decision about whether to tick your box, or forget you and move on.
Given you’re reading this you obviously feel that your conversation is where you’re falling down on your dates. In this book (OK – it’s online now, it used to be a book!) I want to give you some useful tools for taking your conversation from zero to hero status. A way of gradually upgrading the quality of conversations you have with potential partners. A way of doubling, tripling, or even more, the number of dates you’re able to win.
Yes, looks are important. If you don’t feel that physical chemistry with the person across the table at the beginning of a 3 minute speed date there’s not much you can do to change it during the 3 minutes. Having said that, a brilliant conversationalist will have the skills to raise their level of desirability, sometimes to the level where they will get a date.
Your body language is also important. However, unless you know how to master your own body language, it’s merely an indicator of your current thoughts, emotions and empathy with those you are near to. In other words your body language tends to follow what you are thinking. And the way that you form those thoughts during the main chunk of your speed date is by what your date says to you and how they say it.
You’ve no doubt heard or read the often quoted research:
- 7% of what you communicate is about what you say,
- 38% is how you say it
- 55% is how you look as you say what you say.
Conversational skills are a whole lot more important than that research would at first have you believe. Let’s look again at those figures.
That 38% of ‘how’ you say it is also clearly part of your conversational skills. And the 55%, the body language bit, as we’ve already established is mostly just your body giving away your thoughts; that, ‘Wow, they have my sense of humour and such a tease too’ or ‘I’ve had more interesting conversations with my stuffed parrot’.
So is dating conversation important? You bet it is.
Next
Conversational skills holding you back?
Dating conversation main page
