Ways To Deepen A Conversation

Shallow dating conversation and small talk tell you little about whether you're going to click with your potential date. Unless of course the thing you both like most is having shallow conversations.

In order to work out whether you want a second date with this person, it often helps to deepen the conversation. At a base level this means delving down into the clues that this person has left for you and that interests you about him or her. However, there is a distinction to be drawn here about how you want to deepen a dating conversation.

Remember that you are after a few different things here.

• You want to get the option of another date.
• You want to have them talk about themselves mostly.
• You want them to have feelings of fun and excitement.

Deepen the conversation

So when you deepen the conversation, by using questions, you want to ask the appropriate ones.

If you refer back to the 'kick-start' questions, you'll notice that they are all likely to get the person to access experiences that are pleasurable for them. The more pleasure and fun feelings you can get your conversational partner to access during the date, the more they will like you.

I suspect the reason you hang around with the friends that you do is because you have a good laugh together and you can explore things that you enjoy. That's one of the main reasons you became their friend in the first place. Because you had a fun time together. Well, all you are doing whilst deepening a dating conversation is using that same principle.

So the questions that you ask, in the main, should lead your partner to experience fun and pleasure. Let's say you've found a clue in their conversation that they're clearly passionate about. That's a good place to go deepening the conversation. They're already passionate about it (have good feelings) so directing the conversation there is going to make them feel good. Some great questions to ask to allow you to do this are:

• What about that do you love?
• What about that makes you happy?
• How do you feel about that? (Man to woman)
• What do you think about that? (Woman to man)

As a quick note you need to know that:

• men like answering questions about what they think,
• women are generally thrilled to be asked how they feel about something.

In fact as a guy, any time you ask a woman her opinion you raise yourself above 90% of the competition.

There are more questions than this of course. Lots more. In fact any question that you know is going to cause your partner to experience those good feelings again is an appropriate one.

Link this principle of experiencing good feelings to the next one, conversational flirting, and you'll win a lot more dates.

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